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Reductress
Full Pieces
What to Do When You Walk in on Your Shaving Boyfriend Indulging a Brief Moment of a Hitler Mustache
Headline Only
I LIVED IT: I Slapped a Stranger’s Child but No One Made a TV Show About It
How to Flirt by Telling Him How Well You Swallow Spiders in Your Sleep
I LIVED IT: I Got the Zoomies But My Boss Wouldn’t Let Me Go Outside to Run Around
How to Show Him You Care by Bringing Him Small Dead Mammals You’ve Killed
Woman Enters Witness Protection Program After Friend Sees Inside of AirPod Case
Why I Talk Through Movies So They All Pass the Bechdel Test
Why I Always Use Corn Holders When Sucking Dick
Poet in the Making: This Woman Is Really Sad but Can’t Sing
Gross: This Bowl Is All Weird and Flat
More Money More Problems? This Woman Is Choking on a Nickel
How to Cope With the Power of Being Able to Google ‘Giant Earthworms’ at Any Time
How to Not Be Jealous of How Badly He Wants A Rapid COVID Test
Why I Have Him Put His Dick in Upside Down Like a USB
Why I Bury All His Nut in The Yard Like a Squirrel
4 Photos of Zendaya and Tom Holland That Make Us Want to Fight God
4 Frogs I Kissed Hoping They’d Turn Into a Prince but Instead They Filed Restraining Orders
Defenestration
Announcing the Closure of the Lavender Town Pokémon Center
Slackjaw
How To Assemble A Nightstand, As A Modern Single Man In Your Twenties
I Am Olivia Rodrigo's Birth Certificate And Her Next Hit Song Should Be About Me
Why Umbrellas Must Die, As Told By A Recently Separated Father Of Two
Points in Case
Idioms and the Recurring Nightmares That Make Me Shout Them as I Wake Up
From the Spider on your Dashboard, with Love
A Plea from the Chair You Put Your Stuff On
Little Old Lady
Life Advice From A Guy Who Just Realized He's Standing Between A Mother Bear And Her Cubs
Libertarian Lyrical Variants of Your Favorite Songs
An Interview With Hollywood's Hottest Couple During The Zombie Apocalypse